Chicken or the egg? - 1978

This is a published story - Readings from Readings - 2011
http://www.timeoutkl.com/toklgallery/10-easy-to-read-adult-books/pic/1083/page/1


The summer of 1978 saw me spending it in Toronto. A good friend of mine, Charlie and I were both here for the summer; he from Guelph University in Guelph, Ontario and I from Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec. We both needed a place to stay so we decided to share a flat to cut down on costs.

There were two tiny basement apartments in this house we viewed, with a tiny living room, a tiny kitchen, one tiny bathroom and two tiny bedrooms. The apartment hardly got any daylight but the rent was cheap, so it worked for the two of us. I believe our landlord’s architect designed this for the dwarfs from Snow White.

Our neighbours in the next tiny apartment were Nina and May, two lovely Singaporean girls studying in York University in Toronto.

That summer was very hard on all of us financially. No summer job for any of us since we were all on a student visa; everyone depending on our parents/guardians for funds; monies from them was not going to be forthcoming that summer for reasons I can’t recall!

By mid summer, we were all so broke that we started visiting all our married friends in Toronto and the nearby suburbs under the pretext of ‘just dropping in to see how you are’. We made sure it was close to dinner time and they still being practitioners of Malaysian hospitality even though they were now Canadians would invite us to stay for dinner- a lovely Malaysian custom that I hope will always live on! We, however, never took their hospitality for granted and made sure that the visit to each of their homes was kept to once a week and never on weekends which was very sacred to them- spending time with their families. They had become Canadian in that respect.

One Sunday morning, (I remember that day very clearly as if it was yesterday!) I went out to get the morning paper that usually was left outside our front door, up one flight of stairs to sunlight!

When I opened the door, I was stunned for a few minutes. Our paper was there as usual, but at the side of the building next to the door, lying in a perfect semi-circle were 5 eggs!!!

My immediate reaction? I looked up to the skies above with a resounding “THANK YOU DEAR LORD!” Since I figured the Lord didn’t run his own errands he would have used some human delivery method (did Fed Ex deliver on a Sunday?)

I ventured out on to the road and nearby surrounding areas. Not seeing anyone out and about at 6.30am, I was convinced it was the Lord himself who hand delivered them! A MIGHTY reach! But why in a semi-circle though? THAT did strike me a little odd, but who was I to question the mysterious ways the Lord works and thought….. “Perhaps, so as not to crack them?”

I carefully wrapped and carried the eggs in the newspaper, making sure none of those ‘God-ly’ eggs got cracked before their time.

I was overjoyed that I could now add this new item to our existing provisions in the flat which comprised of half a pot of cooked rice, 4 slices of bread, a quarter tub of Parkay margarine, half a bottle of jam, 4 potatoes, 2 onions and 3 cloves of garlic.

Later that morning, a few of our friends were going to drop by and we were all going to head to a park which was within walking distance just to ‘lepak’ (hang out), an activity that didn’t cost any money.

I thought I would surprise them all and make some fried rice as a treat and set out the ingredients for the dish; 4 potatoes, 2 onions, 3 cloves of garlic, half a pot of day old rice from the fridge, two tablespoons of Parkay margarine and of course God sent ingredient – the eggs! I used 4 of them.

I cut everything up and fried the whole lot together….tasted for salt and pepper and set it out on the dining table. Charlie was up by then but for some reason, I didn’t tell him about my treasure find.

When our friends came over I served them the fried rice which was being wolfed down very quickly. While feasting, one of them commented on how come there were eggs in the rice. You see, they were regulars at our apartment and knew what our pantry consisted of.  It was then that I told them about my morning discovery ….5 eggs neatly arranged in a semi-circle exactly 2 cm away from each other. The one minute silence that followed was deafening!

Immediately after the silence there was a CRASH! They simultaneously dropped their cutlery on their plates and looked at me with their jaws dropping to the floor.

 “What!”  Theresa exclaimed! “You found 5 eggs in a semi-circle outside the house, cooked it and now we are eating it”. I must say I was a little unnerved by their adverse reaction and managed a meek “Yes!”

I have never in my life (all 19 at that time) seen such a violent reaction –some started throwing up, others were forcing themselves to throw up while screaming hysterically. “How could you do that?” “What were you thinking of?” “Are you mad?” were the some of the sentences I remember being shouted out.

When some calm finally settled in, I asked them what I had done wrong. One of my friends, Karam, said that the eggs had a spell cast on them!

The eggs had a spell cast on them?

He went on to explain that it was common knowledge (obviously it was not that common because this was the first time I was hearing that piece of knowledge) that this was how black magic spells were cast –through eggs! The person practicing black magic would put a spell on eggs and whoever ate them would then be under a spell! AND it was for life!

Everyone there seemed to be privy to this common knowledge and agreed with him.

Just so you know, the whole lot of us in that room was studying various disciplines like medicine, engineering, IT, computer science, marketing, and business management in reputable universities in Ontario and Quebec.

My ‘Learned’ friends thought they were now under a spell because they had eaten the eggs!

What a load of crap! Now why would ANYONE want to put a spell on us especially since none of us were from well to do families coupled with the fact that we were presently BROKE! What would they gain from that? We had nothing!

I then donned my ‘I know better’ look and in an angelic voice went on to explain my theory of how the eggs were hand delivered by God himself because HE knew we were all starving, had no money to buy groceries and that it had been a while since we cooked a good meal. Hence he sent us this ‘gift’. They in turn asked why the Lord would send us 5 eggs placed in a semi-circle (a black magic sign)….now like I said earlier, THAT fact puzzled me too!

I dismissed the question and went on to say…. “He couldn’t send us chickens, could He? How on earth would we be able to feed the chickens when we can hardly feed ourselves? So he sent us eggs-immediately consumable protein!”

Nobody believed me of course and mayhem set in once again with everyone talking all at once and it centered on BLACK MAGIC!

To shut them up, I asked in my booming voice, “Okay, so what do we do now?”

Theresa asked me how many eggs I had used for the fried rice. “Four!” I said.

“You mean there is one more left?” she said with hope in her voice.

“Yes!” I said.

“Then we have to go and get the last one blessed!” she said without any hesitation.

Everyone started getting all excited with the prospect that there was now a way to be redeemed from this black magic spell.

Hmm! Blessing an egg? How ridiculous is that I thought! But trying to appease them, replied “Okay!”  I could tell that it was the only way that I could convince them that I was not Satan bent on making the rest of their lives a living Hell!

Being a Sunday we knew the church around the corner of our flat would have morning services so we headed on there. No one in the group cared that NONE of us besides Theresa was a Christian. So there we were; a bunch of Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and Atheists all set to go to church. Maybe it did dawn on them but I guess the foremost thing on their mind was to get out rid of this spell and it didn’t matter which religion did it for them.

Theresa had been to that church before for services and knew the priest - Father Johnson. I carefully wrapped the egg and carried it. No one else wanted to touch it in case they were cast into a deeper spell.

Not to overwhelm him and crowd his office, we thought it best if only Theresa and I (the guilty one) go in to see him in his room. The others remained outside and we left the door slightly ajar so that they too could hear whatever that transpired.

Theresa started with the devilish version of how we were all now under a black magic spell and that we were here with the last egg to get it blessed. She told him that eating the ‘blessed’ egg was the only way they were going to get ‘de-spelled’.

I then went on to give my divinely version of how the eggs were delivered to us by the Lord himself.

Father Johnson listened patiently without saying a word. However he was covering part of his face and mouth with his hands. His shoulders were moving up and down from time to time during the storytelling session.

No! It can’t be!

Yes! I was right!  He was laughing and trying to hide it. I then started laughing as well thinking of how incredulous this whole episode must have sounded to him!

Theresa was not amused!

On sensing this Father Johnson sobered up, wiping tears from his eyes and said “I’m sorry, but in all my years as a priest I have never once been asked to bless an egg! I don’t believe any of you are under a spell, but if it will make you all feel better, I will ‘bless’ the egg, “There’s always the first time for everything I guess” he ended with a murmur!

 I honestly was beginning to like this priest and thought that it was very nice of him to do this even though he thought we were working up a frenzy over nothing (read that as ‘They are mad!’). I carefully took the egg out of the newspaper and handed it over to him. He held a rosary in his right hand and started saying some prayers over the egg and on Theresa’s insistence threw some holy water on it for good measure. When the ‘blessing’ ceremony was over, he gave me back the egg and told us not to worry as whatever spell we were under was now history.

We all headed back home in dead silence!

Once home I fried the solitary egg and divided it into 10 portions for the congregation awaiting the blessed ‘food’. I did not take a portion since I was still adamant that it was food from God. They all downed their teensy weensy ‘blessed’ portions very quickly and went on home, feeling it was best to keep the ‘lepaking’ (hanging out) in the park for another time, since the whole episode left an ‘eggy’ taste in their mouth.

After they left, I heated up the rest of the fried rice and had it for lunch!

To this day I strongly believe they were sent by the Almighty. It still however remains a mystery to me why He left them in a semi-circle! Any theories?